HorseFly
by OhhhSkyler
Summary: "You said, and I quote: 'I'll kiss you for real when pigs fly.' A pig flew, so where's my kiss?" Sonny/Chad. Set directly after "Guess Who's Coming To Guest Star".


**Summary**: "You said, and I quote: 'I'll kiss you for real when pigs fly.' A pig flew, so where's my kiss?" Sonny/Chad. Set directly after "Guess Who's Coming To Guest Star".

**Author's note**: There may be a story similar to this one out on FanFiction already. I don't know, sorry if there is. I came up with this idea all on my own. (Shortly after the episode, in fact. I'm just lame. And lazy. Yes, lazy enough to procrastinate an entire season.) So please, no yelling at me for "copying" a story.

This is my first SWAC fanfic, so go easy on me will ya? I'll give you a Chadolate Chip Cookie :) They're almost as delicious as Chad Dylan Cooper himself.

**Disclaimer**: If I owned SWAC, I'd force—er, _persuade_—Demi into introducing me to David Archuleta. That way, he'll instantly fall in love with me and ask me to elope (once I become of legal age and am out of college...and high school, of course). But is that ever going to happen? Only in my sweet dreams, which sadly, none have come to life yet. So no, I do not own SWAC.

* * *

It was after the HottiEMT sketch; Sonny was lying in her dressing room. Well, the room she shared mutually with Tawni. If Sonny claimed it to be hers, Tawni would have a cow—and eat it, too! After all, she _is_ steak-worthy. (Or so she claims. But I didn't say that.)

I imagine Sonny was thinking about her denying love for the one, the only, Chad Dylan Cooper. Or Chad Dylan Pooper, as her cast mates liked to call him.

_By the end of this week you're gonna fall in love with me_, he had said. And she fears she had done exactly that. He had already checked nervous, stumble, dream, and gazing deep into his eyes off his list. All that was left that he needed to mate was a kiss; she was already 4/5 hooked. Another fifth and she'd be in love with him completely.

And Chad, being the self-determined actor he is, couldn't settle for only 4/5 (what horror that would be!), he wanted the whole bam shalam. Relationship and all. But of course he would never tell Sonny that last bit of information. Actually, pretend as if I never even told you. It's confidential. Shhh.

Currently Sonny and Chad were arguing (insert eye roll for their typicalness) over whose show is better.

This is how the conversation went:

"_So Random!_ makes people laugh, and laughing is the best medicine. It can add years to your life."

"People can relate to _Mackenzie Falls_, Sonny. No one can relate to a show about dolphins, because it's scientifically impossible for a human to breathe underwater."

"Is not!"

"Is so!"

"Is not!"

"Is so!"

"Percy Jackson can!"

"Who in the Chad is Percy Jackson?"

"Who in the _Chad_? Really?"

"Yes, really! Don't pretend you don't love it. But getting back on subject, I still reckon you're a liar. The Falls is much better than some non-comedic comedy show."

"...Did you just say 'reckon'?"

"So what if I did? Got a problem with that?"

"I don't know, it's just not a very Chadly word."

"Chadly?"

"Yes. Chadly. _Got a problem with that_?"

"Hey! How dare you use my own words to mock me!"

"How do you know I was mocking you?"

"Because I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. I _always_ know."

"Really, Chad? Really?"

"You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?"

"Mocking me! You know what, just forget it. I came here for a reason."

"And what reason would that be?"

"Oh, I think you know exactly the reason."

"No, I really don't. But go ahead, entertain me."

"You owe me a kiss."

"Ha! What? I don't know what you're talking about; I don't owe you a kiss. But if I did, which I don't, then I wouldn't give you one away."

"Oh I think you know you do, Sonny. Your voice got all high, which means you're lying! And you're also talking really fast, which is another sign for you're lying!"

"What—what are you talking about? My voice doesn't get any higher when I'm lying. You're crazy."

"Selena told me."

"What? That traitor! I mean, uh, when did Selena tell you this FALSE information?"

"That's not of importance."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it—"

"Sonny, the time for talking is over."

"..."

"Don't roll your eyes at me!"

"..."

"Sonny, quit giving me that look!"

"..."

"Sonny; I mean it. Stop."

"..."

"Stop it, Sonny! Seriously."

"I'll stop once you leave."

"I'm not leaving until you give me my kiss."

"Well you're never going to get your kiss, so you'll just have to endure my stare!"

"You said, and I quote: 'I'll kiss you for real when pigs fly.' A pig flew, so where's my kiss?"

"Well, uh, pfft. Why do you want me to kiss you so badly anyway?"

"It's for your well-being only."

"For my _well-being_? It's not like I care if I kiss you or not."

"Well then why haven't you yet?

"What?"

"Why haven't you kissed me yet? You said you didn't care if you did, yet you're refusing to. Is there any particular reason for this, Sonny? Something you don't want me to know?"

"Well, I, uh—I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ah ah ah, that's not going to work this time."

"What's not going to work?"

"Oh, no you don't. No feigning innocence while I'm around. You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

"Whatever, Chad."

"You know, I'll leave you alone once I get my kiss."

"You can never leave me alone."

"Yes I can."

"You're living, aren't you?"

"Rude!"

"Can you just get out of my dressing room?"

"I haven't gotten my kiss yet, so no."

"Oh my..."

"One small kiss, Sonny, and I'll leave."

"No you won't."

"You're right; I won't, but you still owe me a kiss."

"..."

"Does a sigh mean yes?"

"No, a sigh's a sigh."

"Why won't you just kiss me, Sonny?"

"Because I don't want to."

"I think you really do and you just don't want to because you're afraid of your feelings."

"I don't have any feelings towards you, Chad; besides the always present annoyance and hatred."

"I think you're confusing your emotions even more by denying your love for me, Sonny."

"I don't love you, Chad."

"You're about to."

"What are you—"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I can't believe you just kissed me!"

"Believe it, 'cause I did."

"And that I kissed you back slightly!"

"Believe it, 'cause—"

"'Cause _what_? 'Cause I did?"

"No, 'cause you love me."

"I'll repeat: I don't love you, Chad."

"You kissed me, didn't you?"

"First of all, you kissed me first. And second of all, a kiss does not mean love, Chad. Love is much stronger than what you can feel in a kiss."

"So you admit you felt something?"

"No, I was just saying that—oh, fine. Yes, Chad, I felt something in the kiss. _I_ happy?"

"I?"

"It's my nickname for you. I'm We, you're I."

"This is all getting so confusing."

"Good. Now leave."

"Nah, I don't think I will."

"You said, _and I quote_: 'I'll leave you alone once I get my kiss.' A kiss is what you got, so get."

"You're doing that mocking thing again."

"..."

"Quit rolling your eyes at me! That's the second time in 10 minutes!"

"Oh get over it, Mr. Chip Drama Pants."

"So now you're going all Random on me. I see how it is."

"Maybe that's because I _am_ a Random."

"A Random wouldn't kiss a Falls."

"A Falls wouldn't kiss a Random!"

"I only did it for your—"

"Well-being. Yeah, I got that."

"Quit being so sassy."

"First it was reckon, and now sassy. What's with you today?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're saying very un-Chadly words."

"Every word is Chadly."

"There you go with your arrogance again!"

"Chad Dylan Cooper does _not_ have arrogance."

"Oh, but au contraire, the talk-in-third-person person does."

"Pfft. Pffffffftt. Pft! Does not!"

"Does so!"

"Does not!"

"Does so!"

"Does not!"

"Does—"

"Am I gonna have to kiss you again just to shut you up?"

"I'll kiss you again when horses fly."

And just like that, a flying horse appeared.

I know what must be going through your minds right now: _Really, Skyler? Really?_

To which my reply is: Really.

* * *

Fin!

That totally happened. True story.

How'd you like it? I must admit, I find my ending genius. You probably hate it but that's OK, my self-approval is all that matters. :)

You see that pretty little blue button that says "Review this Chapter"? Well, it's saying "Click me! Click me!" GIVE IN TO THE PRESSURE.

Peace out, suckahs!


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